We're like a lot better than the average bears
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Just high enough for therapy.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
