did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Acid is not a monday night drug
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
