have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
