I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
