Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize