chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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