im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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