i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
