can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
