please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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