I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
