you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
