I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
