he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
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I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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