1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
