I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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