Who wears a wallet chain?!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
