Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
