When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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