Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
