we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
