i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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