In the future we'll all be gay
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just want nice things and good sex
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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