I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
