I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize