I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize