the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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