Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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