3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
