I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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