my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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