I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize