You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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