Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
