Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
