I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
