You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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