I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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