Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
