Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
