I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
