so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
