it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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