I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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