did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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