the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
