I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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