I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
