Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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