After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
