Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
