bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
