the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
